On England's Pleasant Pastures Seen

A bit of fag ash, an old Doris and a £75 fixed penalty for littering.

Behind the door is I in picking this up .... call it what you will, story, news item, or, a testament to Twenty First England. Not that I blog about this kind of stuff anymore, but sometimes something comes along that takes the biscuit and I have to have my twopenn'orth.

As I say I'm a bit behind the door in picking this thing up, well a lot behind actually, so not aimed at you Brits per se for the news will known to you already.

To inform then, those that wouldn't normally be privy to such a tale, Furriners; especially those Furriners that have the misfortune to live in furrin parts of the world, furrin third world countries as one expects to find in the rest of Europe. Furrin Furriners that so unlike we few, we happy few, we band of brothers so blessed with fortune that our feet tread this England, this shining bright light of modern European democracy, this envy of the free world.

So to my Countrymen, to my English Brothers, my comrades in arms, prithee, let us ignore these scurrilous lies writ below, instead I invite you to join me and with true patriotic fervour raise our voices as one crying in unison: "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; or close the wall up with our English dead, and cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'

Smoker faces £2,500 fine... for dropping cigarette ash on pavement

An elderly widow has been threatened with a £2,500 fine by council officials – for dropping cigarette ash on the pavement.

Sheila Martin, 70, was smoking at a bus stop when a warden pounced and handed her the £75 fixed penalty for littering.

The cash-strapped grandmother refused to pay and has now been warned it could rise to £2,500.

Mrs Martin, from Oldbury, West Midlands, was hit with the original fine by the Sandwell council warden after visiting her daughter on May 25.

She said: ‘I still can’t believe what happened. I was sat at a bus stop quietly enjoying a cigarette and from nowhere a warden appeared and accused me of littering.

‘I was only smoking a cigarette. It is one of the few things I can afford to buy myself.’

Mrs Martin claims she was so shocked that she later suffered an asthma attack at home and was knocked unconscious for three hours after falling over.

She said: ‘I’ve always been a law-abiding person, so this was all a big shock to me and I just keeled over.

‘I haven’t been the same since and have only got by thanks to the help of my friends and neighbours.

‘It feels like I am being victimised.’

Mrs Martin had initially refused to pay the £75 fixed penalty charge. But she has seven days to cough up or she will be summoned to court and could face a fine of up to £2,500.

‘It all seems so heavy handed,’ she said.

‘I can’t work out why the council would be so vindictive over such a petty matter. I’m so upset and angry.’ More The Wail

What gets my goat about all this is brain power. How much possessed of it, the man that could stand there and write a ticket for cigarette ash, and how unpossessed of the same attribute, those that employ the fellow and authorise him with a book of tickets?

Stop This McCann Obscenity

For the love of anything that resembles decency, will you stop this obscenity, you abominable creatures?

You are so hideous, so repugnant, so utterly shameless.

You truly are loathsome, detestable excuses for humanity.






How long is this going to go on for, eight, nine, nineteen? I honestly don't know how you can step out of your front door? How do you look people in the eye, how do you live with yourselves, you're beyond my comprehension?



What a thing to wake up to, what a way to start a day, and I don't think I dare go in search of what the Mail is going to fawn upon us.

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,--
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

This England! It's not mine anymore, I do not recognise it.

It shames me.




Well if We have nothing else to thank Cameron for, we can thank him for keeping this vile pair off the front page of the Mail. For now.

But I did find this there. This England! You just could not make it up.

Motorist returns to find yellow lines painted either side of her car - and a parking ticket

This England

Go On, You Know You Want To

Pander to your shallow side, have a little gloat, go on you've earned it.

The majority featured in this two minute vid.

Buh bye Brown; yesterday's man.

All together now, ahhhhhh.

On polling only slightly greater numbers than the BNP, said that she wasn't disappointed, just worried. Yes dear.

Heartbreaking that it is, buh bye Nick Griffin. A big ahhh for Nick? alright, another time then.

Phillipa Stroud, not featured in the vid, but failed to get elected, ahh. Tip: Try the Republican Party, you're just the kinda gal they're looking for.

And lastly, Lembit Opik, who, when asked: "Are you being punished for the Cheeky Girls and all the rest of it?" managed to reply graciously, and with that so rarely found in a pol, dignity and honesty.
"How superficial and patronising an assumption, not least for the Tory who beat me fair and square, and so you can do that analysis if you want to, I'll just say, I feel really quite disappointed that I lost."

Well said Sir, well said.

Update: Opik bravely appeared on the post election edition of
Have I Got News For You. UK only.

~

Just an odd one born out of the comments section.

You Just Could Not Make It Up

He said: "It's not right that an innocent, vulnerable British citizen is essentially given up on.

"And I don't think it's right that as parents, that we have to drive the search.

Priceless, absolutely priceless.

And how he loves to take the piss.

"I mean logically I can't say, I mean none of us can say for definite other than the people involved.......

And the "Comprehensive Review" I think that's a euphemism for his muckers doing a snow job.
I can see it now, on the notepaper of some dodgy police authority, co-signed at the bottom by McCann's new best best friend Jim Gamble, "This boy really did loose his homework"

Only he didn't, and it wasn't his homework.


Oh to be in England now that Spring is here.

McCanns: UK Officials 'Given Up On Madeleine'

Madeleine McCann's father has accused the British authorities of "essentially giving up" on finding her.

During a television interview days before the third anniversary of her disappearance, Gerry McCann urged the Government to carry out a "comprehensive review" of the case.

He said: "It's not right that an innocent, vulnerable British citizen is essentially given up on.

"And I don't think it's right that as parents, that we have to drive the search.

"Of course we will, but not everyone has had the same resources and support that we have had to be able to do that. And I think it's pretty cruel."




Mr McCann said it was "incredibly frustrating" that police in Portugal and the UK were not doing more to find the missing youngster.

At the time of her disappearance, the couple were criticised for leaving their three children alone in a holiday apartment as they went for dinner nearby.

Mr McCann said: "If we could turn back the clock and change what happened, obviously we wouldn't have done it.

"We can't. And what I would say is, you know, people have got to put themselves into our position. What would you do if it was your daughter? After this, what would you do?"

The parents still believe Madeleine, who went missing when she was three, is alive and are releasing a pack for people to take abroad and put up posters featuring her picture.

Kate McCann said: "Certainly in my heart I feel she is out there.

"I mean I know there is nothing to say that she isn't, so we have to carry on working and thinking like that.

"I mean logically I can't say, I mean none of us can say for definite other than the people involved. But I know we can't give up because there is no evidence to say that she is not."

Madeleine went missing from her family's holiday apartment in Praia da Luz in the Algarve on May 3, 2007.

The pre-recorded GMTV interview will be broadcast later. Sky

Vote Conservative. Vote Clarence Mitchell. Vote Corruption

Would you vote for a party that employed Clarence Mitchell?

I would burn in hell first.







To be fair I should write a few more words, but I can't for the life of tonight. There are enough up top for Google to log, so mission accomplished for today.

David Cameron Ready For Change

If only.







There will be a bit more later on, machine and I both need a reboot.

David Cameron Flying With The Crows

This first five are re-ups, as much to show how this theme has evolved as much as anything.







I can't recall the exact reason for this above, but I guess it doesn't take much figuring out.



Today's offering.

Mitchell Joins Tories.

This has just fallen into my inbox, I don't know if this is common knowledge, but I shall throw it up. Now there's a choice phrase for you. No comment, I'm heading out for a spell.

Update: This may be of greater interest than that below, conservativehome.blogs, with comments that I have yet to read myself.

Update: PRWeek Tell me about it!

McCann Spokesman Gets Tory Election Job

5:56pm UK, Thursday March 04, 2010

Ruth Barnett, Sky News Online
A spokesman for Madeleine McCann's parents is to become a senior member of the Conservatives' election team, the party has confirmed.

Clarence Mitchell will begin his new role as head of media monitoring next week.

The former BBC journalist is not expected to speak publicly on behalf of the Tories.

He will report to communications chief Andy Coulson.

Mr Mitchell began representing Kate and Gerry McCann in 2007 after their daughter Madeleine disappeared during a family holiday in Portugal.

Before that, he spent two years as the head of the Government's media monitoring team.

He is also a consultant for Freud Communications, specialising in crisis management.

Other families he has advised include the parents of murdered teenager Jimmy Mizen and Fiona MacKeown, who's daughter Scarlett Keeling was killed in Goa. Sky

A few lines from Anorak.