Friday, 11 December 2009

The Portuguese Failing: No Few Meter

Hard to blame the Portuguese I suppose, the Few Meter, sorry I stand corrected, the Phew Meter, the Phew Meter at the time was top secret and I suppose even today it's existence is still pretty hush hush.

Invented by our intrepid inventor who, when not eating cheese, is mostly inventing most of the time, the Phew Meter was designed for primarily for use by Her Majesty's Customs.

Placed surreptitiously at the exit of the nothing to declare green channel, the purpose of the Phew Meter was quite simply to measure phews, albeit clandestinely.

Rather pleased it wasn't around when I was gadding about the world, I've let a few phews out in my time, how about you?

I'll wager there were a few phews in the air after this little lie fest, oh for the want of a meter.

Perhaps then we might then have been spared such nauseating displays as this from the grieving and obviously extremely relieved parents, inasmuch that they had got this far without being arrested.